After being home for just over 2 weeks, I have just one thing to say...
BRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!
It's cold over here!
Actually, I think I have a lot more than just that to say, but it's all forming very slowly in my head (possibly because the cold is slowing my brain function down).
I'm home and I'm not at all feeling how I expected to feel. I thought I'd be ready for break, but I'm running around like a headless chicken. Visiting family, visiting friends, looking at cars, looking for jobs, hangin with JB and all sorts of other little things. I feel like I can't sit still. I have to move move move!
But, it's ok, I need to stay busy. I'm back in America and it hasn't quite hit me that this is probably where I'm going to be for a while. I feel poised for flight. I feel out of place.
And, as I told one of my co-teachers, I don't think there is such a thing as a "normal" life for me anymore. I may just always be in this in between state that keeps me aware that there is more than just what's in front of me in this world. That, a person can have two homes, or three... or more in different parts of the planet.
And, maybe most important... that a person can recognize that there shouldn't be something as a "normal life," but that having adventures, taking risks, seeing the world and all that God made in it is a beautiful, awesome privilege.
But, for now, I'm glad to be back at this home.
Feb 23, 2009
Feb 4, 2009
Goodbye's
Maybe this will help to describe my goodbyes here.
I stopped in at my favorite Kimbap place tonight for dinner. I ordered dwenjan chegae to go, as usual. And, as I sat down to wait for it, I thought "I'm leaving Saturday. I need to tell them." So, in my broken Korean, I told them that I would be leaving on Saturday for America. They were excited and happy for me and then, they found out that I wouldn't be coming back. I tried to tell them that I loved their food. I tried to tell them that eating there was like going into Grandma's kitchen for dinner. I wanted to tell them that I would remember them and that, even though I didn't see them everyday and even though we didn't talk much, they were a big part of my life here in Korea. I tried, but couldn't.
But, I know they understood.
And, I know that she tried to tell me that she would miss me. That she was always happy to see me when I came in to eat. I know she wanted to tell me to be happy in America, and that she hoped I would have a good life. She tried, but, as she said, she has no English.
But, I still understood.
And, I think this is how most of my goodbye's are. I don't know quite what to say and neither do they... but we both know. I feel so loved here. My friends keep asking if this experience has been worth all the challenges I've faced and the hardships I've had...
Yes.
I stopped in at my favorite Kimbap place tonight for dinner. I ordered dwenjan chegae to go, as usual. And, as I sat down to wait for it, I thought "I'm leaving Saturday. I need to tell them." So, in my broken Korean, I told them that I would be leaving on Saturday for America. They were excited and happy for me and then, they found out that I wouldn't be coming back. I tried to tell them that I loved their food. I tried to tell them that eating there was like going into Grandma's kitchen for dinner. I wanted to tell them that I would remember them and that, even though I didn't see them everyday and even though we didn't talk much, they were a big part of my life here in Korea. I tried, but couldn't.
But, I know they understood.
And, I know that she tried to tell me that she would miss me. That she was always happy to see me when I came in to eat. I know she wanted to tell me to be happy in America, and that she hoped I would have a good life. She tried, but, as she said, she has no English.
But, I still understood.
And, I think this is how most of my goodbye's are. I don't know quite what to say and neither do they... but we both know. I feel so loved here. My friends keep asking if this experience has been worth all the challenges I've faced and the hardships I've had...
Yes.
Jan 26, 2009
Janelle and Lexi
Yay!!
I think Janelle and Lexi brought the snow from the States with them to South Korea! It snowed more than I've ever seen it (not that I've been here for that long!).
These kids really liked Janelle!
Jan 15, 2009
Subway Carts
So many little things happen here that I find simply hilarious. A couple of days ago I was jammed into a subway cart that was so packed full of people, no one could move an inch. I was spooning with the person behind me and the person in front of me as well! We were really packed in tight!
After about 2 minutes, I feel the lady standing behind me's cell phone start to vibrate....
We come to a stop, and people have to get off and new people want to get on, right? Well, the people who have to get off are in the middle of the cart and so start pushing and shoving to get out and the people who don't want to get off are shoving right back, trying to stay on. It's a mess, always is.
Well, as every one's pushing and shoving, this guy who is a good head and shoulders shorter than me stops right in front of me, faces me and just stands there looking at my chest... "trying not to get shoved off." He's awfully red in the face (meaning he's drunk) and he's about to grab me so he doesn't get shoved off the cart. So, I pushed him away. Put my hand on his face and shoved him back. It worked.
Then, more people come on the cart, and we're packed in again. Now I'm spooning with a extraordinarily tall Korean man. He has a nice arm. I know this cause my face was stuffed into it for the next 3 stops.
At least there were no more cell phones vibrating on my butt!
3 more weeks....
After about 2 minutes, I feel the lady standing behind me's cell phone start to vibrate....
We come to a stop, and people have to get off and new people want to get on, right? Well, the people who have to get off are in the middle of the cart and so start pushing and shoving to get out and the people who don't want to get off are shoving right back, trying to stay on. It's a mess, always is.
Well, as every one's pushing and shoving, this guy who is a good head and shoulders shorter than me stops right in front of me, faces me and just stands there looking at my chest... "trying not to get shoved off." He's awfully red in the face (meaning he's drunk) and he's about to grab me so he doesn't get shoved off the cart. So, I pushed him away. Put my hand on his face and shoved him back. It worked.
Then, more people come on the cart, and we're packed in again. Now I'm spooning with a extraordinarily tall Korean man. He has a nice arm. I know this cause my face was stuffed into it for the next 3 stops.
At least there were no more cell phones vibrating on my butt!
3 more weeks....
Jan 12, 2009
Victory!
I would just like to let everyone know that I ordered food to be delivered to my house again and....
they found me on the first try and I remembered my card so that I could get back into the building! YES!!!
(I also wore my coat outside to fetch my food this time too, just in case!)
So, ha ha! I'm awesome!
they found me on the first try and I remembered my card so that I could get back into the building! YES!!!
(I also wore my coat outside to fetch my food this time too, just in case!)
So, ha ha! I'm awesome!
Jan 5, 2009
Auntie Carol
My greatest apologies to my dearest Auntie Carol and family for not remembering to thank you as well for your Christmas card.
Better late than never; Thank you so much!
But, I want to say more than just thanks. Throughout my entire time in Korea, you have corresponded with me on an almost weekly basis. I can't tell you how much this has meant to me. It has helped me to remember that I am loved, thought of and prayed for while here so far away from everything that is normal and comfortable for me. And, while I haven't always responded, I want you to know that I've looked forward to and enjoyed every single email. Especially the ones where you almost light yourself on fire!!
You're pretty great! Thanks for taking time out of your weeks to make mine that much more blessed!
With love,
Hil
Better late than never; Thank you so much!
But, I want to say more than just thanks. Throughout my entire time in Korea, you have corresponded with me on an almost weekly basis. I can't tell you how much this has meant to me. It has helped me to remember that I am loved, thought of and prayed for while here so far away from everything that is normal and comfortable for me. And, while I haven't always responded, I want you to know that I've looked forward to and enjoyed every single email. Especially the ones where you almost light yourself on fire!!
You're pretty great! Thanks for taking time out of your weeks to make mine that much more blessed!
With love,
Hil
Not Hilary's Best Moment...
First of all, a big thank you to my parents, grandparents, Aunt Holly, Aunt Elaine, Meghan and Aunt Ev/Uncle Dave for sending me Christmas cards! You guys really helped to make me feel blessed and loved during the holiday season!! Thank you so much!
And now for one of Hilary's stupidest moments in Korea...
So, I took a nap today. Now, some of you know that when I take a nap, it's no silly little short nap... when I nap, it's at least 3 hours long and today was no exception. I fell asleep from about 4 until 7:30 or so. When I woke up, I wasn't hungry, so I just messed around a little, went grocery shopping, had a little snack and that was it.
Pretty soon, it's 3a.m. and I had a mad craving for Bo Sam which is this sort of Korean pork dish here that I was only just recently introduced to. I wanted it SO BAD! So, I looked on this take out order thing that I have here and saw that there's a place that will deliver Bo Sam and I thought I'd just give it a try... what's there to lose, right?
I worked up the nerve to call this delivery place and, to my great surprise, I actually succeeded in making an order and telling the guy where I lived so that it could be delivered...
Or so I thought.
I guess my directions weren't all that clear and this delivery guy kept calling me trying to figure out where I live and I have no idea what he's saying. After all, I am in Korea. I keep thinking that he's at the sliding glass door that you have to have a card to get past... so I keep going down to check... and he's not there.
Finally, he calls again and by this time, I had been down so often to check only to find that he wasn't there, I decided not to put my coat on... and, I forgot to bring my card that lets me into the building.
So, I'm talking to this guy on the phone and I walk outside to check the address on the front of the building and the glass door closes...
The glass door closes....
HOLY CRAP THE GLASS DOOR JUST CLOSED AND I DON'T HAVE MY CARD!!!
Shoot.
It's 4a.m. and I have on sneakers with no socks, sweatpants and a t-shirt outside in the middle of January. I have my cell phone on me, and I have money... so it's not the worst situation in the world... but this is not good, people... not good at all!
I walked down to the Buy The Way and bought a little cup of coffee... I was going to need it. I went back to my apartment building and decide... I'm going to climb up the side of my building and get in through my window...
You all know that's a terrible idea, but it seemed possible at the time. I'm perched up on this little ledge about 8 feet up when my Bo Sam guy finally comes. So, I hop down and pretend like I'm not really trapped outside... every thing's fine. I pay him, he gives me my food, and off we go.
But, I'm still stuck outside and it's about 4:15a.m.
So, I see that someone has a light on in their window and I start throwing rocks up at it and asking for help in Korean.... later I see that they called the police on me and refused to even inquire about who was calling for help. *Sigh* I don't really blame them.
Then, as I'm throwing rocks up at the window, I notice that each floor has these little balconies with windows and I think... if I can just make it up to the first window... I can climb in through the window and I'll be in!!!
So, I can climb on this ledge thing... but I'm still too far away to reach the window. Then, I notice there's this tiny little Evergreen tree right next to where I need to go... if I can climb the Evergreen, then I can make it up to the window!
But, the Evergreen is barely bigger than me, and when I put my weight on it's limbs, they starts to break. So, I'm clinging to the top of the Evergreen trying not to fall down and instead of getting closer to the window, the Evergreen just bends over and sets me back on the ground.
*Sigh*
After this a police car goes cruising by with it's lights flashing.
By now, it's about 4:30a.m. and I finally decide to call my Land Lady. I know... you're thinking that this is the first thing I should have tried.... but once before I tried calling her late at night when I forgot my card somewhere and she didn't have her phone on. And, she doesn't speak English. And, it was 4:30 in the morning!!! I have a real problem being an inconvenience to people... especially when I don't speak the same language.
So, I called her and... after about 80 rings, she answered. I explain to her my problem in my best Konglish and after listening for a minute she says... "Send me phone message. Sorry." and hangs up!
CRAP!
So, I send her this phone message; "I don't have my card. I can't get inside!" .... nothing.
Great! I'm just about to call her again, when suddenly, the door just opens.
So, by 5a.m. my Bo Sam and I made it inside and I discovered a few scratches and bumps on my arms, but for the most part, I made it back inside unscathed!!
Not one of my best moments, but you can't say that I'm not resourceful or creative.
The Bo Sam was delicious!
And now for one of Hilary's stupidest moments in Korea...
So, I took a nap today. Now, some of you know that when I take a nap, it's no silly little short nap... when I nap, it's at least 3 hours long and today was no exception. I fell asleep from about 4 until 7:30 or so. When I woke up, I wasn't hungry, so I just messed around a little, went grocery shopping, had a little snack and that was it.
Pretty soon, it's 3a.m. and I had a mad craving for Bo Sam which is this sort of Korean pork dish here that I was only just recently introduced to. I wanted it SO BAD! So, I looked on this take out order thing that I have here and saw that there's a place that will deliver Bo Sam and I thought I'd just give it a try... what's there to lose, right?
I worked up the nerve to call this delivery place and, to my great surprise, I actually succeeded in making an order and telling the guy where I lived so that it could be delivered...
Or so I thought.
I guess my directions weren't all that clear and this delivery guy kept calling me trying to figure out where I live and I have no idea what he's saying. After all, I am in Korea. I keep thinking that he's at the sliding glass door that you have to have a card to get past... so I keep going down to check... and he's not there.
Finally, he calls again and by this time, I had been down so often to check only to find that he wasn't there, I decided not to put my coat on... and, I forgot to bring my card that lets me into the building.
So, I'm talking to this guy on the phone and I walk outside to check the address on the front of the building and the glass door closes...
The glass door closes....
HOLY CRAP THE GLASS DOOR JUST CLOSED AND I DON'T HAVE MY CARD!!!
Shoot.
It's 4a.m. and I have on sneakers with no socks, sweatpants and a t-shirt outside in the middle of January. I have my cell phone on me, and I have money... so it's not the worst situation in the world... but this is not good, people... not good at all!
I walked down to the Buy The Way and bought a little cup of coffee... I was going to need it. I went back to my apartment building and decide... I'm going to climb up the side of my building and get in through my window...
You all know that's a terrible idea, but it seemed possible at the time. I'm perched up on this little ledge about 8 feet up when my Bo Sam guy finally comes. So, I hop down and pretend like I'm not really trapped outside... every thing's fine. I pay him, he gives me my food, and off we go.
But, I'm still stuck outside and it's about 4:15a.m.
So, I see that someone has a light on in their window and I start throwing rocks up at it and asking for help in Korean.... later I see that they called the police on me and refused to even inquire about who was calling for help. *Sigh* I don't really blame them.
Then, as I'm throwing rocks up at the window, I notice that each floor has these little balconies with windows and I think... if I can just make it up to the first window... I can climb in through the window and I'll be in!!!
So, I can climb on this ledge thing... but I'm still too far away to reach the window. Then, I notice there's this tiny little Evergreen tree right next to where I need to go... if I can climb the Evergreen, then I can make it up to the window!
But, the Evergreen is barely bigger than me, and when I put my weight on it's limbs, they starts to break. So, I'm clinging to the top of the Evergreen trying not to fall down and instead of getting closer to the window, the Evergreen just bends over and sets me back on the ground.
*Sigh*
After this a police car goes cruising by with it's lights flashing.
By now, it's about 4:30a.m. and I finally decide to call my Land Lady. I know... you're thinking that this is the first thing I should have tried.... but once before I tried calling her late at night when I forgot my card somewhere and she didn't have her phone on. And, she doesn't speak English. And, it was 4:30 in the morning!!! I have a real problem being an inconvenience to people... especially when I don't speak the same language.
So, I called her and... after about 80 rings, she answered. I explain to her my problem in my best Konglish and after listening for a minute she says... "Send me phone message. Sorry." and hangs up!
CRAP!
So, I send her this phone message; "I don't have my card. I can't get inside!" .... nothing.
Great! I'm just about to call her again, when suddenly, the door just opens.
So, by 5a.m. my Bo Sam and I made it inside and I discovered a few scratches and bumps on my arms, but for the most part, I made it back inside unscathed!!
Not one of my best moments, but you can't say that I'm not resourceful or creative.
The Bo Sam was delicious!
Jan 1, 2009
My Song
Before presenting this, I'll give credit where credit is due... I stole the "Have you ever" theme from a song by Brandi Carlile, but the lyrics are my own. I've just arranged them in the same fashion as her "Have you ever" song.
Have you ever woken up the morning sun?
Everything in your heart has come undone.
You wait with your tears and you wait before you run.
Have you ever woken up the morning sun?
Have you ever felt the wind move through your soul?
Swirling up dead leaves that were your goals.
You catch a glimpse of your hopes before the holes.
Have you ever felt the wind move through your soul?
Have you ever found your heart inside a friend?
You're not sure where you start and where they end.
Your heart is safe there, it's loved and it can mend.
Have you ever found your heart within a friend?
For my friends.
H
Have you ever woken up the morning sun?
Everything in your heart has come undone.
You wait with your tears and you wait before you run.
Have you ever woken up the morning sun?
Have you ever felt the wind move through your soul?
Swirling up dead leaves that were your goals.
You catch a glimpse of your hopes before the holes.
Have you ever felt the wind move through your soul?
Have you ever found your heart inside a friend?
You're not sure where you start and where they end.
Your heart is safe there, it's loved and it can mend.
Have you ever found your heart within a friend?
For my friends.
H
Dec 16, 2008
Ajushi's and Teachers
Walking to the post office with two heavy boxes...
An old ajushi (yet again, there's no escaping these old men!!) in a van asks me where I'm going.
I indicate the post office with my chin... my hands are full.
He wants to give me a ride.
"I'm ok, thank you!!"
Walking into school this morning, I met a co-worker. She grabbed my arm as we walked in together so we could stay warm.
"Couplingya." In Konglish, this means that we're acting like a couple by walking arm in arm... whatever, it was just cold.
I played Memory with my students today in class. They just learned a bunch of Christmas vocabulary so we played with Christmas pictures. They had so much fun and I did too. For some reason I've always like playing this game. Each class I would sit down with one table and play a few games. In my class with Changok, she and I made the terrible, can't do anything students sit together and had a focused lesson with them. They learned the vocabulary and then we flashed the cards at them and the student who guessed the vocabulary term the fastest got to keep the card. Those boys were getting so into it that we had to keep scooting back from the table. They were shouting the vocabulary words! We were so happy!
Changok was really enjoying herself too. I like seeing her play. She's so serious all the time, I like it when she's more relaxed!
So that's my day.
Someone get me out of here quick before I completely lose my senses and hop into a van with some random, old, Korean man!
An old ajushi (yet again, there's no escaping these old men!!) in a van asks me where I'm going.
I indicate the post office with my chin... my hands are full.
He wants to give me a ride.
"I'm ok, thank you!!"
Walking into school this morning, I met a co-worker. She grabbed my arm as we walked in together so we could stay warm.
"Couplingya." In Konglish, this means that we're acting like a couple by walking arm in arm... whatever, it was just cold.
I played Memory with my students today in class. They just learned a bunch of Christmas vocabulary so we played with Christmas pictures. They had so much fun and I did too. For some reason I've always like playing this game. Each class I would sit down with one table and play a few games. In my class with Changok, she and I made the terrible, can't do anything students sit together and had a focused lesson with them. They learned the vocabulary and then we flashed the cards at them and the student who guessed the vocabulary term the fastest got to keep the card. Those boys were getting so into it that we had to keep scooting back from the table. They were shouting the vocabulary words! We were so happy!
Changok was really enjoying herself too. I like seeing her play. She's so serious all the time, I like it when she's more relaxed!
So that's my day.
Someone get me out of here quick before I completely lose my senses and hop into a van with some random, old, Korean man!
Dec 7, 2008
Just When I Thought I Had Lost My Touch...
It really has been a while since I've attracted a random Korean man. I was beginning to think that I had lost my touch, or that perhaps I was really starting to blend into this culture! Has my appearance changed? I don't know, maybe it's just that I'm wearing a "BACK OFF" look on my face all the time and men feel that I may be less than friendly. Who knows, but today I found that I have not lost my magnetism for crazy Korean men... it is, if anything, stronger than ever!
I was running really late this morning, so I took a taxi to work. Now, you never know what you're going to get with a taxi driver. Sometimes they're really friendly, sometimes they're not, but normally they leave me alone if I don't initiate talking with them. Well, this guy... he was extra friendly... extra, extra....
Things like this always start off innocently enough. Questions like, "Where are you from", "How long have you been in Korea"... they're pretty standard. Even, "Are you married" or "Do you have a boyfriend" are pretty common questions.
Then, "Do you like meat?"
Ok, a little odd, but whatever, "네 (Yes)."
"Do you like [here he says a word I don't recognize, a type of meat]?"
I tell him I don't know what he's saying so he barks like a dog. Ah, he means dog meat.
"No!" But, I'm laughing so he keeps going... Do I like cat meat, pig meat, cow meat and he makes sure I know what each animal is by imitating the animal sound! He's oinking like a pig and mooing like a cow and clucking like a chicken and he's so animated that the car is shaking!!
Now this is strange but it's cracking me up and he's going in the right direction so, no harm no foul.
*Sigh* Little did I know.
Now, you must understand that this entire conversation is being held in Korean. My Korean is so limited and I'm preoccupied with trying to get to work on time and it's morning and I'm NOT a morning person and he keeps asking me questions and so I just starting saying "Yes." It's what I normally do, really. Normally, these guys are asking questions that a yes or no answer is sufficient for and if it's not and I answer yes, well, then they understand that I don't understand what they're saying and they stop asking questions. It's always worked before...
Turns out, he was asking if he could go on a date with me and if I'd give him my phone number. Not even joking. Before I even knew what I had said yes to, he's handing me a pad of paper saying, "Handuhpone [cell phone]."
Crap!
I wrote down a fake phone number and gave it back to him and start to pay close attention to what he's saying! He starts telling me something about how we'll go out and have pig meat and beer together. Then he pulls out his cell phone and tells me that he's going to call me so I can save his number in my phone!
CRAP!
"Handuhpone I don't have!" It's in my pocket.
"House?"
"Yes."
"You don't need your handuhpone at work?"
"Yes." See, I keep saying yes, bad habit!!!
"Ok, I'll call you at night!"
Crap!
FINALLY, he got me to where I could get out and walk. I gave him some money and he gave me more than he should have back.
"Copee." This means coffee in Korean. Apparently the 50 extra cents he was giving me was for my coffee in the morning.
Great.
I said thank you, bolted out of the door and literally ran away. So yes, I could potentially have had a date with this man. Too bad he's my fathers age and a complete crackhead! Why do I always attract the weirdos?? WHY?? My "BACK OFF" face isn't working! Maybe I'll have to start muttering Korean cuss words under my breath... I could try drooling a little bit too! Let me know if you have any other suggestions!
So, here's to Korean adventure number 1,823! One of the best! Let's hope he doesn't start stalking me at school!
Cheers!
Hil
I was running really late this morning, so I took a taxi to work. Now, you never know what you're going to get with a taxi driver. Sometimes they're really friendly, sometimes they're not, but normally they leave me alone if I don't initiate talking with them. Well, this guy... he was extra friendly... extra, extra....
Things like this always start off innocently enough. Questions like, "Where are you from", "How long have you been in Korea"... they're pretty standard. Even, "Are you married" or "Do you have a boyfriend" are pretty common questions.
Then, "Do you like meat?"
Ok, a little odd, but whatever, "네 (Yes)."
"Do you like [here he says a word I don't recognize, a type of meat]?"
I tell him I don't know what he's saying so he barks like a dog. Ah, he means dog meat.
"No!" But, I'm laughing so he keeps going... Do I like cat meat, pig meat, cow meat and he makes sure I know what each animal is by imitating the animal sound! He's oinking like a pig and mooing like a cow and clucking like a chicken and he's so animated that the car is shaking!!
Now this is strange but it's cracking me up and he's going in the right direction so, no harm no foul.
*Sigh* Little did I know.
Now, you must understand that this entire conversation is being held in Korean. My Korean is so limited and I'm preoccupied with trying to get to work on time and it's morning and I'm NOT a morning person and he keeps asking me questions and so I just starting saying "Yes." It's what I normally do, really. Normally, these guys are asking questions that a yes or no answer is sufficient for and if it's not and I answer yes, well, then they understand that I don't understand what they're saying and they stop asking questions. It's always worked before...
Turns out, he was asking if he could go on a date with me and if I'd give him my phone number. Not even joking. Before I even knew what I had said yes to, he's handing me a pad of paper saying, "Handuhpone [cell phone]."
Crap!
I wrote down a fake phone number and gave it back to him and start to pay close attention to what he's saying! He starts telling me something about how we'll go out and have pig meat and beer together. Then he pulls out his cell phone and tells me that he's going to call me so I can save his number in my phone!
CRAP!
"Handuhpone I don't have!" It's in my pocket.
"House?"
"Yes."
"You don't need your handuhpone at work?"
"Yes." See, I keep saying yes, bad habit!!!
"Ok, I'll call you at night!"
Crap!
FINALLY, he got me to where I could get out and walk. I gave him some money and he gave me more than he should have back.
"Copee." This means coffee in Korean. Apparently the 50 extra cents he was giving me was for my coffee in the morning.
Great.
I said thank you, bolted out of the door and literally ran away. So yes, I could potentially have had a date with this man. Too bad he's my fathers age and a complete crackhead! Why do I always attract the weirdos?? WHY?? My "BACK OFF" face isn't working! Maybe I'll have to start muttering Korean cuss words under my breath... I could try drooling a little bit too! Let me know if you have any other suggestions!
So, here's to Korean adventure number 1,823! One of the best! Let's hope he doesn't start stalking me at school!
Cheers!
Hil
Nov 28, 2008
I Have Amazing Friends...
Meet Janelle and Lexi
(and there's me, of course, too)

I think anyone would consider themselves very blessed if they found themselves able to call either one of these women a friend... I have the privilage of calling them both close!

They've stuck with me through thick and thin and now...


THEY'RE BOTH COMING TO VISIT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so happy!
Nov 20, 2008
Tug of War and Christmas
New news:
LEXI'S COMING TO VISIT ME.... AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so happy!
I played tug of war with my co-workers today. Just before the match started, I betrayed my team and ran over to the other side. Chang Misook called for me to come over to her and I just can't resist her! It caused a big uproar and Jin tried to betray too, but in the end, they had to even out the teams and both Jin and I ended up back on our original team!
We lost! They play tug of war differently here than what I'm used to... they yell out, "PULL, PULL, PULL!" in Korean and when they're not yelling "PULL!" they relax the tension on the rope.
Ridiculous! You NEVER let up on the tension!!! I almost had my arm yanked out of my socket!
Then, we played T-ball! Darn P.E. teacher caught my pop fly! It cracks me up how enthusiastically my co-teachers play these little kid sports! Another group of teachers were playing kick ball and they were getting into it SO much! We played one round and then we quit and went inside for a FEAST! There was chicken and kimchi and juke and fruit and vegetables and beer and soju and on and on and on! I stayed and had dinner with everyone. It felt like Thanksgiving!
I started to tell Jin about all the food and traditions I have at home over Thanksgiving and Christmas. I think it moved her. Maybe the family gathering or the traditions or all the food or maybe just the combination of everything touched her. I'm not sure why, but she started to tear up a little bit in the midst of my remembrance's.
I realized then how blessed I am to have such a strong family. My home has always been filled with so much love and warmth, and it's tangible during these holidays. Seeing Jin tear up and in so much awe of my family traditions made me realize how hollow my life would be without my family and the gifts of love and warmth they have given me since childhood.
I told her about Christmases at Grandma's and the stockings, buckeyes, green bean casserole... just the tangible love in the room... I told her about my yearly tradition of finding the perfect tree for Grandma and our house with Dad... I told her about nut rolls and sugar cookies! I can hardly believe that I'm not going to be a part of it again and I wonder will it ever be how I've remembered. I don't know.
But, I do know that there is a huge amount of solid, immovable, irreplaceable love swirling in my heart because of my family and all of the Christmases, Thanksgivings and love I've had with them before and that I know is waiting for me back home again. I want to share this. I want to give this to Jin. I want her to feel this love and warmth.
When I started telling her about nut rolls and buckeyes we both got so excited we could hardly contain ourselves! I wonder if I could make a nut roll in my little toaster oven.... hmm....
And now I can see that I have a family here in Korea as well. My co-workers, despite our not being able to communicate 100% and all of the cultural differences, have embraced me and filled me with as many traditions as they could give.
Tug of war and T-ball never seemed so precious to me before.
LEXI'S COMING TO VISIT ME.... AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so happy!
I played tug of war with my co-workers today. Just before the match started, I betrayed my team and ran over to the other side. Chang Misook called for me to come over to her and I just can't resist her! It caused a big uproar and Jin tried to betray too, but in the end, they had to even out the teams and both Jin and I ended up back on our original team!
We lost! They play tug of war differently here than what I'm used to... they yell out, "PULL, PULL, PULL!" in Korean and when they're not yelling "PULL!" they relax the tension on the rope.
Ridiculous! You NEVER let up on the tension!!! I almost had my arm yanked out of my socket!
Then, we played T-ball! Darn P.E. teacher caught my pop fly! It cracks me up how enthusiastically my co-teachers play these little kid sports! Another group of teachers were playing kick ball and they were getting into it SO much! We played one round and then we quit and went inside for a FEAST! There was chicken and kimchi and juke and fruit and vegetables and beer and soju and on and on and on! I stayed and had dinner with everyone. It felt like Thanksgiving!
I started to tell Jin about all the food and traditions I have at home over Thanksgiving and Christmas. I think it moved her. Maybe the family gathering or the traditions or all the food or maybe just the combination of everything touched her. I'm not sure why, but she started to tear up a little bit in the midst of my remembrance's.
I realized then how blessed I am to have such a strong family. My home has always been filled with so much love and warmth, and it's tangible during these holidays. Seeing Jin tear up and in so much awe of my family traditions made me realize how hollow my life would be without my family and the gifts of love and warmth they have given me since childhood.
I told her about Christmases at Grandma's and the stockings, buckeyes, green bean casserole... just the tangible love in the room... I told her about my yearly tradition of finding the perfect tree for Grandma and our house with Dad... I told her about nut rolls and sugar cookies! I can hardly believe that I'm not going to be a part of it again and I wonder will it ever be how I've remembered. I don't know.
But, I do know that there is a huge amount of solid, immovable, irreplaceable love swirling in my heart because of my family and all of the Christmases, Thanksgivings and love I've had with them before and that I know is waiting for me back home again. I want to share this. I want to give this to Jin. I want her to feel this love and warmth.
When I started telling her about nut rolls and buckeyes we both got so excited we could hardly contain ourselves! I wonder if I could make a nut roll in my little toaster oven.... hmm....
And now I can see that I have a family here in Korea as well. My co-workers, despite our not being able to communicate 100% and all of the cultural differences, have embraced me and filled me with as many traditions as they could give.
Tug of war and T-ball never seemed so precious to me before.
Nov 13, 2008
Now this was Hiking!!
I had the day off from work today so I went hiking with Migyeong and Changok. We wanted to climb Gwanak mountain and Changok said we should meet at Sadang station and then go from there.
She had no idea where she was going, but we eventually found it. Yes, it was difficult, but we did find the mountain!
After hiking up these two really steep hills we came upon a Buddhist temple where all of these mothers were praying and bowing. It was quite a sight. I had the day off today, and the women were bowing to Buddha today because it's the national testing day here. The day when all of the high school seniors take the college entrance test. It's a BIG deal! They delay flights and everything.
But, anyway, we went hiking. It was INTENSE! We had to use a rope... I almost died at one point and at another I had to become a "Russian spy" in order to scout out possible routes for our descent...
Yes. We got lost. I think at one point we followed a trail... it could have been an animal path...
I think I wasn't confident of where we were going because there weren't many people on the mountain. Changok said that on the weekends it's so crowded you can't even see the mountain. You just see people. But today, there was no one! It was great!
But, these women are such troopers! I couldn't believe they were so willing to just keep going up this incredibly difficult part of the mountain with me. And they did great! At one point, their legs were too short to make it up and I had to pull them, but other than that they kept right up with me! After a while, I realized that Changok is navigationally challenged so I took the lead and they kept laughing at me cause I kept slipping and almost falling.
I had SO MUCH FUN!!!
Ahh. Such a good day!
H.
She had no idea where she was going, but we eventually found it. Yes, it was difficult, but we did find the mountain!
After hiking up these two really steep hills we came upon a Buddhist temple where all of these mothers were praying and bowing. It was quite a sight. I had the day off today, and the women were bowing to Buddha today because it's the national testing day here. The day when all of the high school seniors take the college entrance test. It's a BIG deal! They delay flights and everything.
But, anyway, we went hiking. It was INTENSE! We had to use a rope... I almost died at one point and at another I had to become a "Russian spy" in order to scout out possible routes for our descent...
Yes. We got lost. I think at one point we followed a trail... it could have been an animal path...
I think I wasn't confident of where we were going because there weren't many people on the mountain. Changok said that on the weekends it's so crowded you can't even see the mountain. You just see people. But today, there was no one! It was great!
But, these women are such troopers! I couldn't believe they were so willing to just keep going up this incredibly difficult part of the mountain with me. And they did great! At one point, their legs were too short to make it up and I had to pull them, but other than that they kept right up with me! After a while, I realized that Changok is navigationally challenged so I took the lead and they kept laughing at me cause I kept slipping and almost falling.
I had SO MUCH FUN!!!
Ahh. Such a good day!
H.
Nov 10, 2008
Appearances can be deceiving...
While on the subway one day, I couldn't help but notice this strange picture....
Yes. You guessed it; it's the westerner who's had cosmetic surgery to enhance her breast size. As you can see, she's really happy with.... herself.
Yes, this is an actual advertisement here. I'm not making it up.
In OTHER news....
Today I was called 'bouncy' by one of my co-workers. We were walking back towards our desks after lunch and I bumped into her. I meant to do this, of course, but I nearly knocked her over (didn't mean to do that). She said I was so bouncy and explained that this means I'm very young and firm and solid...
I think it just means that I have a lot of flesh... or, at least a lot more than her. There's not much to her... there's not much to many of my co-workers, but I hate talking about appearances now.
This weekend I hung out with some friends from church and learned that one of them calls and considers herself a spinster. She embraces her spinsterhood and has decided to do all she can to live up to the name and image of a spinster. She has given the word spinster a positive connotation.
She's 24. I admire this. It's a confident and humorous outlook on her present life condition. She also called me an old school Marm... I don't know how I feel about that. I'm not quite as cool as she is, so I don't know if I can really pull off calling myself an old school Marm without actually turning into one... the resemblance is too close just now! I'm already wielding a stick around and just recently bought and brown, wool, woven sweater... what more do I need??
What are all of these people so excited, curious or upset about????
Yes, this is an actual advertisement here. I'm not making it up.
In OTHER news....
Today I was called 'bouncy' by one of my co-workers. We were walking back towards our desks after lunch and I bumped into her. I meant to do this, of course, but I nearly knocked her over (didn't mean to do that). She said I was so bouncy and explained that this means I'm very young and firm and solid...
I think it just means that I have a lot of flesh... or, at least a lot more than her. There's not much to her... there's not much to many of my co-workers, but I hate talking about appearances now.
This weekend I hung out with some friends from church and learned that one of them calls and considers herself a spinster. She embraces her spinsterhood and has decided to do all she can to live up to the name and image of a spinster. She has given the word spinster a positive connotation.
She's 24. I admire this. It's a confident and humorous outlook on her present life condition. She also called me an old school Marm... I don't know how I feel about that. I'm not quite as cool as she is, so I don't know if I can really pull off calling myself an old school Marm without actually turning into one... the resemblance is too close just now! I'm already wielding a stick around and just recently bought and brown, wool, woven sweater... what more do I need??
Nov 7, 2008
Undone
I would consider myself a strong person. I mean, I can lift things. I can, uh... lift a... suitcase full of clothes.
I can also, in my everyday situations, hold my emotions in check. I'm strong. I can take care of myself and I don't need things. And if I do, I can get them myself, thanks.
But, yesterday, I wilted. I came undone at the drop of a hat and hats were falling all over the place. It was ridiculous.
I was amazed at my inability to hold myself together and my confidence in myself was shaken. Why was I such a mess? I think it's precisely because I've been "holding myself together" for so long. My emotions; my will, just gave out.
It turns out that I'm not a very strong person after all. I think that if I were a strong person, I would have been able "hold myself together" for longer. I would have been able to do it for months; perhaps even years. As it is, I'm useless at leading my own life. I absolutely fail at it.
*Sigh*
This becomes a big problem for me because I find within myself a very stubborn will and desire to lead my own life. Again, how ridiculous.
I was being "stubborn" for a little over a month before my emotions all came crashing down around me. At least this time it wasn't 20 years... like the first time. Maybe I am learning things quicker the second time around.
Special shout out to JB, JCrew and Jin for helping to spur this break down on and for sticking with me through it.
I'm thirsty.
H
I can also, in my everyday situations, hold my emotions in check. I'm strong. I can take care of myself and I don't need things. And if I do, I can get them myself, thanks.
But, yesterday, I wilted. I came undone at the drop of a hat and hats were falling all over the place. It was ridiculous.
I was amazed at my inability to hold myself together and my confidence in myself was shaken. Why was I such a mess? I think it's precisely because I've been "holding myself together" for so long. My emotions; my will, just gave out.
It turns out that I'm not a very strong person after all. I think that if I were a strong person, I would have been able "hold myself together" for longer. I would have been able to do it for months; perhaps even years. As it is, I'm useless at leading my own life. I absolutely fail at it.
*Sigh*
This becomes a big problem for me because I find within myself a very stubborn will and desire to lead my own life. Again, how ridiculous.
I was being "stubborn" for a little over a month before my emotions all came crashing down around me. At least this time it wasn't 20 years... like the first time. Maybe I am learning things quicker the second time around.
Special shout out to JB, JCrew and Jin for helping to spur this break down on and for sticking with me through it.
I'm thirsty.
H
Oct 25, 2008
Lately...
Some pictures over the last couple of days...
It's been rainy lately.
This is my new co-teacher, Jin. She's pretty neat.
We had the annual school festival again last Friday. It was rainy and cold.
Here, I'm trying to stay warm with Misook (on the left) and Changok (on the right).
And yes, once again, I performed in the festival.
This time I didn't make quite the fool out of my self as last time.
Just played the bass (poorly) for a couple of songs.
Oct 22, 2008
Moments
Yesterday I went to band practice with some of my co-workers (I'm playing the bass guitar in our school festival....shhh) and ended up being the only one who practiced.
I've never played the bass guitar before, but Songsook taught me how and has been a fabulous teacher. Normally, all the band members practice and I kind of blend in with all of the instruments, but yesterday, it was just me.
Songsook and Misook and a Pak Junsoon were all there, standing around me as I played, singing along. We went over the song about six or seven times and as I played, Songsook teacher (she's the band leader and a music teacher) tapped the beat out on my back.
The last practice run went really well; all of the teachers sang and I played with only minor mistakes. They were standing very near me, all of the teachers surrounding me in a small circle and after finishing, there was a moment when we all kind of looked at each other, smiling and felt warm and close.
Do you ever have those moments? Moments when you feel very warm and close? Moments where you almost can't look each other in the face cause you know you'll be blushing and they'll be beaming and you can feel the affection coming from everyone and no one's speaking and you don't want to leave because you don't want to leave the warmth. You don't want to leave being close...
But, then the spell breaks and you rush away, saying something silly, trying to hide the color on your cheeks.
I love those 'warm' moments. Moments where you share the same air as someone else; moments when there is silence and joy. Moments when the most natural thing is to hug and grab hands or just lean on each other; moments when you can't remember if you've ever felt more content than right then.
I've had a lot of those moments lately. I think some people here have discovered my how to break into my heart...
I've never played the bass guitar before, but Songsook taught me how and has been a fabulous teacher. Normally, all the band members practice and I kind of blend in with all of the instruments, but yesterday, it was just me.
Songsook and Misook and a Pak Junsoon were all there, standing around me as I played, singing along. We went over the song about six or seven times and as I played, Songsook teacher (she's the band leader and a music teacher) tapped the beat out on my back.
The last practice run went really well; all of the teachers sang and I played with only minor mistakes. They were standing very near me, all of the teachers surrounding me in a small circle and after finishing, there was a moment when we all kind of looked at each other, smiling and felt warm and close.
Do you ever have those moments? Moments when you feel very warm and close? Moments where you almost can't look each other in the face cause you know you'll be blushing and they'll be beaming and you can feel the affection coming from everyone and no one's speaking and you don't want to leave because you don't want to leave the warmth. You don't want to leave being close...
But, then the spell breaks and you rush away, saying something silly, trying to hide the color on your cheeks.
I love those 'warm' moments. Moments where you share the same air as someone else; moments when there is silence and joy. Moments when the most natural thing is to hug and grab hands or just lean on each other; moments when you can't remember if you've ever felt more content than right then.
I've had a lot of those moments lately. I think some people here have discovered my how to break into my heart...
Oct 18, 2008
Four Months till Three Dimensions
Two of my hooks fell down off my wall and my scarves are all everywhere.
My rug is pink. Light pink...*sigh*
I have to keep my rice cooker on my trash can because I don't have enough room on my counter top for it.
I have about four shirts on each hanger.
I'm missing two pillow cases...
There are scuffs on my walls and dust bunnies under my bed. There are deep grooves cut in my chair (from previous owners, I believe) and my desk looks like a grenade went off on it.
My apartment is a messy, dilapidated, tiny, little box... but it's my messy box.
I'm beginning to wonder how I'm ever going to move all of my belongings from here to home. I have a feeling I'll be leaving a lot of stuff...
But, it's just stuff.
Not much new has been going on in my life here. The biggest and most interesting change has been my new co-teacher, Jin. Having her in my life makes everything different.
Also, I've resigned from the worship team. No biggie.
Now, I'm sitting in my apartment, thinking about how big my life has gotten since coming to Korea and wondering how big my life can be when I return to the U.S. My hope and prayer is that my life can be only more full and that I can be only more fulfilling to the people who's life I am in there. After all, my life here can be so one dimensional... and despite that, I've had a full life here. I hope I can be a real person again when I return to the states. A real person with real responsibilities and goals and hopes and loves.
I think I'm ready. Four months, baby and I'm ready!
My rug is pink. Light pink...*sigh*
I have to keep my rice cooker on my trash can because I don't have enough room on my counter top for it.
I have about four shirts on each hanger.
I'm missing two pillow cases...
There are scuffs on my walls and dust bunnies under my bed. There are deep grooves cut in my chair (from previous owners, I believe) and my desk looks like a grenade went off on it.
My apartment is a messy, dilapidated, tiny, little box... but it's my messy box.
I'm beginning to wonder how I'm ever going to move all of my belongings from here to home. I have a feeling I'll be leaving a lot of stuff...
But, it's just stuff.
Not much new has been going on in my life here. The biggest and most interesting change has been my new co-teacher, Jin. Having her in my life makes everything different.
Also, I've resigned from the worship team. No biggie.
Now, I'm sitting in my apartment, thinking about how big my life has gotten since coming to Korea and wondering how big my life can be when I return to the U.S. My hope and prayer is that my life can be only more full and that I can be only more fulfilling to the people who's life I am in there. After all, my life here can be so one dimensional... and despite that, I've had a full life here. I hope I can be a real person again when I return to the states. A real person with real responsibilities and goals and hopes and loves.
I think I'm ready. Four months, baby and I'm ready!
Oct 5, 2008
Accomplishment
We have bad days sometimes. We all have frustrating 'moments' and unfortunate 'episodes'.




This weekend was one of those 'moments' for me.
First of all, I went on a hike of death with Nate, Ruda and Sharon on Friday along with about 8,000 other Koreans who decided to go hiking that day too. I would just like to ask... who thinks climbing about 38 million stairs up to the top of a mountain is a good way to spend the day??? Sign me up for the next opportunity to make my heart feel like it's going to explode every 4 seconds and then, make my legs feel like they're going to shake off my body!
It was terribly... challenging.
So, of course, my body hated me on Saturday. My legs were constantly reminding me that I had grossly abused them the day before and they were not about to do anything for me that concerned stairs.
NOTHING!
So, I was moving slowly, but it was Ruda's birthday party out in Ilsan and I was supposed to bring vegetables. I was also supposed to bring my guitar and meet a couple of girls who didn't know the way. I was having trouble connecting with one girl... we were on the same subway platform, but far away from each other. When the subway came, I texted her to get on, but then was having trouble making it on myself.
Just as the doors were closing, I managed to get my foot stuck in the subway door while the rest of my body was stuck in the glass doors that separate the rails from the platform. I managed to pull my foot out, but my sandal got stuck in the doors of the subway. And, because I was carrying my guitar on my back, because I was sore from the mountain of death, I was slow in bending down to retrieve my sandal.
Yes, my sandal fell down the crack onto the railings. MY SANDAL FELL DOWN ONTO THE SUBWAY RAILS!!!!!
"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"
All these ajuma's were trying to help me, but what could they do, really? I just lost my shoe. I JUST LOST MY SHOE!!!
I'm standing there with my guitar on my back, a bunch of vegetables and one shoe.
Fortunately, there was a little mall in that subway so I was able to go and buy some new shoes. Then, we made our way to Ilsan and had a nice little party (I spilled dip right on the front of my shirt). Then I went to worship practice (missed a motorcycle ride with Cory because of my impatience DARN IT!) and then took an hour taxi home with Michael, Angela and David (this taxi ride normally takes half an hour).
Rough. It was a rough.
Here are some photos of the hike of death!
Despite it all; accomplishment. Amen.
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