Ajushi's and Teachers

Walking to the post office with two heavy boxes...
An old ajushi (yet again, there's no escaping these old men!!) in a van asks me where I'm going.
I indicate the post office with my chin... my hands are full.
He wants to give me a ride.

"I'm ok, thank you!!"

Walking into school this morning, I met a co-worker. She grabbed my arm as we walked in together so we could stay warm.

"Couplingya." In Konglish, this means that we're acting like a couple by walking arm in arm... whatever, it was just cold.

I played Memory with my students today in class. They just learned a bunch of Christmas vocabulary so we played with Christmas pictures. They had so much fun and I did too. For some reason I've always like playing this game. Each class I would sit down with one table and play a few games. In my class with Changok, she and I made the terrible, can't do anything students sit together and had a focused lesson with them. They learned the vocabulary and then we flashed the cards at them and the student who guessed the vocabulary term the fastest got to keep the card. Those boys were getting so into it that we had to keep scooting back from the table. They were shouting the vocabulary words! We were so happy!

Changok was really enjoying herself too. I like seeing her play. She's so serious all the time, I like it when she's more relaxed!

So that's my day.


Someone get me out of here quick before I completely lose my senses and hop into a van with some random, old, Korean man!

Just When I Thought I Had Lost My Touch...

It really has been a while since I've attracted a random Korean man. I was beginning to think that I had lost my touch, or that perhaps I was really starting to blend into this culture! Has my appearance changed? I don't know, maybe it's just that I'm wearing a "BACK OFF" look on my face all the time and men feel that I may be less than friendly. Who knows, but today I found that I have not lost my magnetism for crazy Korean men... it is, if anything, stronger than ever!

I was running really late this morning, so I took a taxi to work. Now, you never know what you're going to get with a taxi driver. Sometimes they're really friendly, sometimes they're not, but normally they leave me alone if I don't initiate talking with them. Well, this guy... he was extra friendly... extra, extra....

Things like this always start off innocently enough. Questions like, "Where are you from", "How long have you been in Korea"... they're pretty standard. Even, "Are you married" or "Do you have a boyfriend" are pretty common questions.

Then, "Do you like meat?"
Ok, a little odd, but whatever, "네 (Yes)."
"Do you like [here he says a word I don't recognize, a type of meat]?"
I tell him I don't know what he's saying so he barks like a dog. Ah, he means dog meat.
"No!" But, I'm laughing so he keeps going... Do I like cat meat, pig meat, cow meat and he makes sure I know what each animal is by imitating the animal sound! He's oinking like a pig and mooing like a cow and clucking like a chicken and he's so animated that the car is shaking!!

Now this is strange but it's cracking me up and he's going in the right direction so, no harm no foul.

*Sigh* Little did I know.

Now, you must understand that this entire conversation is being held in Korean. My Korean is so limited and I'm preoccupied with trying to get to work on time and it's morning and I'm NOT a morning person and he keeps asking me questions and so I just starting saying "Yes." It's what I normally do, really. Normally, these guys are asking questions that a yes or no answer is sufficient for and if it's not and I answer yes, well, then they understand that I don't understand what they're saying and they stop asking questions. It's always worked before...

Turns out, he was asking if he could go on a date with me and if I'd give him my phone number. Not even joking. Before I even knew what I had said yes to, he's handing me a pad of paper saying, "Handuhpone [cell phone]."

Crap!

I wrote down a fake phone number and gave it back to him and start to pay close attention to what he's saying! He starts telling me something about how we'll go out and have pig meat and beer together. Then he pulls out his cell phone and tells me that he's going to call me so I can save his number in my phone!

CRAP!

"Handuhpone I don't have!" It's in my pocket.

"House?"
"Yes."
"You don't need your handuhpone at work?"
"Yes." See, I keep saying yes, bad habit!!!
"Ok, I'll call you at night!"

Crap!

FINALLY, he got me to where I could get out and walk. I gave him some money and he gave me more than he should have back.

"Copee." This means coffee in Korean. Apparently the 50 extra cents he was giving me was for my coffee in the morning.

Great.

I said thank you, bolted out of the door and literally ran away. So yes, I could potentially have had a date with this man. Too bad he's my fathers age and a complete crackhead! Why do I always attract the weirdos?? WHY?? My "BACK OFF" face isn't working! Maybe I'll have to start muttering Korean cuss words under my breath... I could try drooling a little bit too! Let me know if you have any other suggestions!

So, here's to Korean adventure number 1,823! One of the best! Let's hope he doesn't start stalking me at school!

Cheers!

Hil

I Have Amazing Friends...

Meet Janelle and Lexi

(and there's me, of course, too)

I think anyone would consider themselves very blessed if they found themselves able to call either one of these women a friend... I have the privilage of calling them both close!

They've stuck with me through thick and thin and now...

THEY'RE BOTH COMING TO VISIT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!









I'm so happy!

I Have Amazing Friends...

Tug of War and Christmas

New news:

LEXI'S COMING TO VISIT ME.... AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so happy!



I played tug of war with my co-workers today. Just before the match started, I betrayed my team and ran over to the other side. Chang Misook called for me to come over to her and I just can't resist her! It caused a big uproar and Jin tried to betray too, but in the end, they had to even out the teams and both Jin and I ended up back on our original team!

We lost! They play tug of war differently here than what I'm used to... they yell out, "PULL, PULL, PULL!" in Korean and when they're not yelling "PULL!" they relax the tension on the rope.

Ridiculous! You NEVER let up on the tension!!! I almost had my arm yanked out of my socket!

Then, we played T-ball! Darn P.E. teacher caught my pop fly! It cracks me up how enthusiastically my co-teachers play these little kid sports! Another group of teachers were playing kick ball and they were getting into it SO much! We played one round and then we quit and went inside for a FEAST! There was chicken and kimchi and juke and fruit and vegetables and beer and soju and on and on and on! I stayed and had dinner with everyone. It felt like Thanksgiving!

I started to tell Jin about all the food and traditions I have at home over Thanksgiving and Christmas. I think it moved her. Maybe the family gathering or the traditions or all the food or maybe just the combination of everything touched her. I'm not sure why, but she started to tear up a little bit in the midst of my remembrance's.

I realized then how blessed I am to have such a strong family. My home has always been filled with so much love and warmth, and it's tangible during these holidays. Seeing Jin tear up and in so much awe of my family traditions made me realize how hollow my life would be without my family and the gifts of love and warmth they have given me since childhood.

I told her about Christmases at Grandma's and the stockings, buckeyes, green bean casserole... just the tangible love in the room... I told her about my yearly tradition of finding the perfect tree for Grandma and our house with Dad... I told her about nut rolls and sugar cookies! I can hardly believe that I'm not going to be a part of it again and I wonder will it ever be how I've remembered. I don't know.

But, I do know that there is a huge amount of solid, immovable, irreplaceable love swirling in my heart because of my family and all of the Christmases, Thanksgivings and love I've had with them before and that I know is waiting for me back home again. I want to share this. I want to give this to Jin. I want her to feel this love and warmth.

When I started telling her about nut rolls and buckeyes we both got so excited we could hardly contain ourselves! I wonder if I could make a nut roll in my little toaster oven.... hmm....

And now I can see that I have a family here in Korea as well. My co-workers, despite our not being able to communicate 100% and all of the cultural differences, have embraced me and filled me with as many traditions as they could give.

Tug of war and T-ball never seemed so precious to me before.

Now this was Hiking!!

I had the day off from work today so I went hiking with Migyeong and Changok. We wanted to climb Gwanak mountain and Changok said we should meet at Sadang station and then go from there.

She had no idea where she was going, but we eventually found it. Yes, it was difficult, but we did find the mountain!

After hiking up these two really steep hills we came upon a Buddhist temple where all of these mothers were praying and bowing. It was quite a sight. I had the day off today, and the women were bowing to Buddha today because it's the national testing day here. The day when all of the high school seniors take the college entrance test. It's a BIG deal! They delay flights and everything.

But, anyway, we went hiking. It was INTENSE! We had to use a rope... I almost died at one point and at another I had to become a "Russian spy" in order to scout out possible routes for our descent...

Yes. We got lost. I think at one point we followed a trail... it could have been an animal path...

I think I wasn't confident of where we were going because there weren't many people on the mountain. Changok said that on the weekends it's so crowded you can't even see the mountain. You just see people. But today, there was no one! It was great!

But, these women are such troopers! I couldn't believe they were so willing to just keep going up this incredibly difficult part of the mountain with me. And they did great! At one point, their legs were too short to make it up and I had to pull them, but other than that they kept right up with me! After a while, I realized that Changok is navigationally challenged so I took the lead and they kept laughing at me cause I kept slipping and almost falling.

I had SO MUCH FUN!!!

Ahh. Such a good day!

H.

Appearances can be deceiving...

While on the subway one day, I couldn't help but notice this strange picture....

What are all of these people so excited, curious or upset about????

Yes. You guessed it; it's the westerner who's had cosmetic surgery to enhance her breast size. As you can see, she's really happy with.... herself.

Yes, this is an actual advertisement here. I'm not making it up.


In OTHER news....


Today I was called 'bouncy' by one of my co-workers. We were walking back towards our desks after lunch and I bumped into her. I meant to do this, of course, but I nearly knocked her over (didn't mean to do that). She said I was so bouncy and explained that this means I'm very young and firm and solid...


I think it just means that I have a lot of flesh... or, at least a lot more than her. There's not much to her... there's not much to many of my co-workers, but I hate talking about appearances now.


This weekend I hung out with some friends from church and learned that one of them calls and considers herself a spinster. She embraces her spinsterhood and has decided to do all she can to live up to the name and image of a spinster. She has given the word spinster a positive connotation.


She's 24. I admire this. It's a confident and humorous outlook on her present life condition. She also called me an old school Marm... I don't know how I feel about that. I'm not quite as cool as she is, so I don't know if I can really pull off calling myself an old school Marm without actually turning into one... the resemblance is too close just now! I'm already wielding a stick around and just recently bought and brown, wool, woven sweater... what more do I need??

Undone

I would consider myself a strong person. I mean, I can lift things. I can, uh... lift a... suitcase full of clothes.

I can also, in my everyday situations, hold my emotions in check. I'm strong. I can take care of myself and I don't need things. And if I do, I can get them myself, thanks.

But, yesterday, I wilted. I came undone at the drop of a hat and hats were falling all over the place. It was ridiculous.

I was amazed at my inability to hold myself together and my confidence in myself was shaken. Why was I such a mess? I think it's precisely because I've been "holding myself together" for so long. My emotions; my will, just gave out.

It turns out that I'm not a very strong person after all. I think that if I were a strong person, I would have been able "hold myself together" for longer. I would have been able to do it for months; perhaps even years. As it is, I'm useless at leading my own life. I absolutely fail at it.

*Sigh*

This becomes a big problem for me because I find within myself a very stubborn will and desire to lead my own life. Again, how ridiculous.

I was being "stubborn" for a little over a month before my emotions all came crashing down around me. At least this time it wasn't 20 years... like the first time. Maybe I am learning things quicker the second time around.

Special shout out to JB, JCrew and Jin for helping to spur this break down on and for sticking with me through it.

I'm thirsty.


H

Lately...

Some pictures over the last couple of days...

It's been rainy lately.

This is my new co-teacher, Jin. She's pretty neat.

We had the annual school festival again last Friday. It was rainy and cold.

Here, I'm trying to stay warm with Misook (on the left) and Changok (on the right).

And yes, once again, I performed in the festival.

This time I didn't make quite the fool out of my self as last time.

Just played the bass (poorly) for a couple of songs.

Moments

Yesterday I went to band practice with some of my co-workers (I'm playing the bass guitar in our school festival....shhh) and ended up being the only one who practiced.

I've never played the bass guitar before, but Songsook taught me how and has been a fabulous teacher. Normally, all the band members practice and I kind of blend in with all of the instruments, but yesterday, it was just me.

Songsook and Misook and a Pak Junsoon were all there, standing around me as I played, singing along. We went over the song about six or seven times and as I played, Songsook teacher (she's the band leader and a music teacher) tapped the beat out on my back.

The last practice run went really well; all of the teachers sang and I played with only minor mistakes. They were standing very near me, all of the teachers surrounding me in a small circle and after finishing, there was a moment when we all kind of looked at each other, smiling and felt warm and close.

Do you ever have those moments? Moments when you feel very warm and close? Moments where you almost can't look each other in the face cause you know you'll be blushing and they'll be beaming and you can feel the affection coming from everyone and no one's speaking and you don't want to leave because you don't want to leave the warmth. You don't want to leave being close...

But, then the spell breaks and you rush away, saying something silly, trying to hide the color on your cheeks.

I love those 'warm' moments. Moments where you share the same air as someone else; moments when there is silence and joy. Moments when the most natural thing is to hug and grab hands or just lean on each other; moments when you can't remember if you've ever felt more content than right then.

I've had a lot of those moments lately. I think some people here have discovered my how to break into my heart...

Four Months till Three Dimensions

Two of my hooks fell down off my wall and my scarves are all everywhere.

My rug is pink. Light pink...*sigh*

I have to keep my rice cooker on my trash can because I don't have enough room on my counter top for it.

I have about four shirts on each hanger.

I'm missing two pillow cases...

There are scuffs on my walls and dust bunnies under my bed. There are deep grooves cut in my chair (from previous owners, I believe) and my desk looks like a grenade went off on it.

My apartment is a messy, dilapidated, tiny, little box... but it's my messy box.

I'm beginning to wonder how I'm ever going to move all of my belongings from here to home. I have a feeling I'll be leaving a lot of stuff...

But, it's just stuff.

Not much new has been going on in my life here. The biggest and most interesting change has been my new co-teacher, Jin. Having her in my life makes everything different.

Also, I've resigned from the worship team. No biggie.

Now, I'm sitting in my apartment, thinking about how big my life has gotten since coming to Korea and wondering how big my life can be when I return to the U.S. My hope and prayer is that my life can be only more full and that I can be only more fulfilling to the people who's life I am in there. After all, my life here can be so one dimensional... and despite that, I've had a full life here. I hope I can be a real person again when I return to the states. A real person with real responsibilities and goals and hopes and loves.

I think I'm ready. Four months, baby and I'm ready!

Accomplishment

We have bad days sometimes. We all have frustrating 'moments' and unfortunate 'episodes'.

This weekend was one of those 'moments' for me.

First of all, I went on a hike of death with Nate, Ruda and Sharon on Friday along with about 8,000 other Koreans who decided to go hiking that day too. I would just like to ask... who thinks climbing about 38 million stairs up to the top of a mountain is a good way to spend the day??? Sign me up for the next opportunity to make my heart feel like it's going to explode every 4 seconds and then, make my legs feel like they're going to shake off my body!

It was terribly... challenging.

So, of course, my body hated me on Saturday. My legs were constantly reminding me that I had grossly abused them the day before and they were not about to do anything for me that concerned stairs.

NOTHING!

So, I was moving slowly, but it was Ruda's birthday party out in Ilsan and I was supposed to bring vegetables. I was also supposed to bring my guitar and meet a couple of girls who didn't know the way. I was having trouble connecting with one girl... we were on the same subway platform, but far away from each other. When the subway came, I texted her to get on, but then was having trouble making it on myself.

Just as the doors were closing, I managed to get my foot stuck in the subway door while the rest of my body was stuck in the glass doors that separate the rails from the platform. I managed to pull my foot out, but my sandal got stuck in the doors of the subway. And, because I was carrying my guitar on my back, because I was sore from the mountain of death, I was slow in bending down to retrieve my sandal.

Yes, my sandal fell down the crack onto the railings. MY SANDAL FELL DOWN ONTO THE SUBWAY RAILS!!!!!

"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"

All these ajuma's were trying to help me, but what could they do, really? I just lost my shoe. I JUST LOST MY SHOE!!!

I'm standing there with my guitar on my back, a bunch of vegetables and one shoe.

Fortunately, there was a little mall in that subway so I was able to go and buy some new shoes. Then, we made our way to Ilsan and had a nice little party (I spilled dip right on the front of my shirt). Then I went to worship practice (missed a motorcycle ride with Cory because of my impatience DARN IT!) and then took an hour taxi home with Michael, Angela and David (this taxi ride normally takes half an hour).

Rough. It was a rough.

Here are some photos of the hike of death!

Despite it all; accomplishment. Amen.

NERDOM

I didn't have any classes today.

It was kind of nice. Kind of boring, but kind of nice. I took in my external hard drive and watched a movie.

It was nice.

I had my adult class tonight. My students have decided that I am a nerd or, directly translated, an "ideal student".

I think "ideal student" gives the word "nerd" a much better connotation.... don't you? However, I don't know if I can agree with being an ideal student. I think the word "nerd" more capitulates who and what I am...

NERD!!!!

Who says that?!?!?!!

IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND, I'M THE FIRST IN LINE! HONEY, I'M STILL FREE; TAKE A CHANCE ON ME!

I love that song! And, Julie Walters is just about the funniest actress I have seen in a LONG time!

"If you're all alone when the pretty birds have flown, Honey I'm still free, take a chance on me!"

So, it's days like today that make me think this:

"I could do this for a long while. Longer than just another 6 months." This being the whole living in Seoul and teaching English thing.

The bulk of my day is spent at school and therefore, my feelings about Seoul and my life in Korea often come from how I feel about my life at school. Often times my life at school is not very pleasant. My school like often makes me think this:

"I WANT TO GO HOME NOW!"

But, not today. I really liked my lesson today. I was teaching prepositions and adjectives, which feels like really teaching English, so I really liked it. Also today, it was my after school activities that really made me like Korea. It's the little things sometimes.

After school on Mondays and Wednesdays, starting today, I'm teaching an adult class. The class starts at 7 and finishes at 9. So, after school today, I went to the little Kimbap place that I always go to and ordered Kimchi mandu to go (which is what I normally do) for my dinner. The lady who normally takes my order wasn't there, but her husband was there and her mother was there cooking as well. They all know me pretty well cause I go in there all the time, so it's no big deal, I just go in, order my mandu to go, get it, pay and then leave.

Well, today, I only had 1 dollar on me so I was going to pay with my card. But, when I went to pay, the guy said they didn't have a "card option" (of course all of these conversations are carried out in Korean). And, I was like... "Uhh.. I only have one dollar..."

So, just as I was about to leave my kimchi mandu and run out the door to find more cash, the guy was like "Don't worry about it. Just give me that dollar and then pay the rest tomorrow."

SERIOUSLY! I have a tab at this place now! How sweet is that!!!!

Then, I went to my adult class and it was great! I have some of my old students and they were so happy that I was back! I was thrilled to see them too! Old friends are so great!

Then, I came home and went on a run and found out that there's a new little grocery store right next to me! It's like a little tiny Kroger, right next to my house! They sell cereal and fruit! They sell fabric softener. They sell octopus and squid! It's so great! I'm so happy they're there! The people working there were so friendly too!

I got some cereal, fruit, crackers and fabric softener. Yay!

Then, I went back to my little kimbap place and paid off my tab. This time, the lady who normally talks to me was there and her husband was out. When I gave her the money, she was confused and thought I wanted more food; but with my stellar Korean speaking abilities, I was able to make her understand that I was just paying what I already owed!

"Kimchi mandu [I pointed to the money I had just given her] upsighyo."

If you were there and you spoke a little Korean you would understand this to mean:

"I already had some of your delicious Kimchi mandu, but could only pay a dollar for it. So here's the rest of your money. Thank you so much, you guys are so great!"

Or

"Kimchi mandu [point finger to indicate the money] I don't have."

At any rate, that was all solved and we all left happy. Or, I ran out before they could give me any money back. Yeah...

Anyways... now I'm home and full of fruit and good feelings!

Hope you are all full of good things too!


Love, prayers, good things,


Hil

Muuido

So, Muuido was fun.

Here are some pictures of our exploits. For more, check out my facebook!

Ruda thought we were falling.... but we weren't.

Nate found a good place to jump off into the water! TWISING JUMP!!

That's a flip... I think!

Waahhh!!!

Pretty cool...

Chusok and other Things

FINALLY, it's the weekend!

And, Happy Chusok (Korean Thanksgiving)!!!!!

I have a four day weekend coming up so some friends and I will be heading to Muuido, a small Island off the West coast of Korea. I think this will be the last opportunity for all of us to enjoy the sun and the water before hunkering down for the long Winter.

School has been going so well since my new co-teachers have joined my team. I love having Changok back. Almost nothing has changed. She's still the same, independent, intelligent, quirky, warm woman I knew before she left. I told her today that's she's a weird Korean, but that's why I like her so much.

Not sure how she felt about that, but it's really the truth. She's a weirdo!


Last year (wow, I can't believe I just said last year...) after Chusok, our school had a festival. A kind of fun, game day that we had at this big park. There was a talent show and this was when I participated in the "Tell Me" dance along with some of the other teachers.

This year, I have been asked to play the base guitar for two songs in this little band made up of some cool, cool teachers. Do I know how to play the base guitar..... no, but how hard can it be, right?? Right???

I mean, there's only 4 strings... and you just pluck them.... how hard could it be???


Now, I'd like to end this post with a question.... and I would really like some responses to this question to hear your thoughts.

Why is it when some people are so accomplished, so gorgeous, so likable and so eager to please, they are often so lonely?

In case you're wondering, I'm not referring to myself... I'm not many of those things... it's just a question.

I'd love your thoughts!

Love, Prayers and All Good Things,

Hil

Poetry; Brace Yourself

I've been tabled and flew

I've been wanted undone

I've been gathered in blue

And stripped by the sun

And the walk in the park

Made the blue lade okay

The fence in the dark

Turned night into day

But this:

This is the depth of blue

And the light in sun

This is the secret that makes a circle round

It is this (shh; in a whisper)

I am found

FRIDAY!

I had a pretty good day, so I'd like to share it with you!

School, school, blah, blah. All that usual stuff; class and such. I had sweet potato ice cream... interesting.

THEN, I went out to a movie, dinner and drinks with my new co-teacher, Jin. We saw Mamma Mia... FANTASTIC! I want to see it again RIGHT NOW!! I laughed, I cried, I laughed some more. So good!

Dinner was a little weird; we went to the same restaurant that a group of other teachers were at as well. Changok, Inji, Semee, Misook, Kyeonghee... all teachers I know. They were having a department meeting. But it was good getting to know her and finally get some of the awkwardness out of the way.

She's pretty cool. The only person at work who is really someone I can be real with. Very real, very open. Very cool. So now, I'm excited for our work together. Maybe we'll hang out more and become good friends. That'd be cool. It's all cool.

In other news, I have semi-joined the praise team at church. I'll be playing guitar a couple of times and I'm pretty excited about it! I'm sure I'll make a fool out of myself, but it's ok. Fool for Jesus!

Alright, that's all the news for now... I like comments!

I like you!

Hil

Sometimes We Make Bad Choices for Good Reasons....

So... are you wondering what my bad choice was???

To make a long story very short, I had him and now I don't. He's being taken care of at a very fine place and perhaps, someday, when he's older and I'm more prepared, he'll be mine again.

I named him Dill. Isn't he cute????

Well, We're Back to the Beginning

Jess is gone.

And, so are the Olson's and I have an abundance of cell phones and T-money cards.

But, I ran into a man in need and I met a friend brand new to Korea as well. So now Rachel is Holly and JB is Sara and Trevor... well he's still Trevor.

I feel a little emptier now and I think that's ok. I think it's ok to miss people... for people to be important to you and their absence a loss. I think it's ok to lean on your friends a little bit and I think it's ok to feel a little lost without them.

But only a little.

Certainly I know without Jess, my entire life here will be altered. I no longer have a friend just ten minutes away. I now must walk this tight rope of Korea without my safety net. I think I'm ready. I'm sure I'll be ok, even if I fall; but it's still a little scary without her.

And of course, my life will be altered without the hub of the Olson's and their home. It's like trying coming back to your home only to realize that your home is in a place you can't go and the things you're most familiar with are altered.

But it's ok... really.

My home will always be with a solid foundation. A foundation that doesn't shake and doesn't crumble. It's more than ok.

So, goodbye Trevor, Rachel and Jessica. You're awesome.

I Hate Goodbyes!!!!!!!!

Today was the saddest day of my life! Today was the day that I said goodbye to my two favorite people in the entire world! Trevor and Rachel have been the center of my very life this past year. They mean EVERYTHING to me! Without them I just don't know what I am going to do, how I am going to cope and where I will get the strength to carry on.

Goodbye, Rach and Trev. You were my sun, my moon, my everything!! You have left a hole in my heart that can never be filled!

Two Homes.... Weird

After an early early morning, pancakes (YES!), a long drive to Chicago, and a LONG flight (14 hours... I think I slept for about 7), I am finally back in Korea.

It's kinda weird coming back to a foreign country knowing exactly what to do. Even having a home to come home to. It's a good thing Jen and Jeff left me some of their food otherwise I'd be eating those combo's I brought back for Ruda!

Mmmm Combos..... they're all smashed by the way!! Whoops!

I had a pretty awesome time at home. Thank you to all of the people who took time out of their lives to come and visit me! I have some amazing friends. And now I know I have some amazing friends all over the world.


And now it's 8:00a.m Seoul time and I'm wide awake. I woke up at 4a.m. but managed to go back to sleep. Now we'll just wait and see how long it takes before I poop out at the end of the day!

It is now 8:35.... time to poop out.

More to come soon!

Hil

American Again

Now that I'm in America, I'm having the hardest time sleeping in! I wake up at the BUTT CRACK OF DAWN EVERY DAY!!!!!

But, other than that, I love this country! The clothes fit, the people are nice, I understand the language and.... I just fit in. I belong here.

My observations about American culture that prove I have reverse culture shock:

1. How am I going to tell this man that I'm waiting for my friends?? Chingo isayo? Wait.....

2. Wow! It's so sunny out and no one's carrying an umbrella!

3. JCrew "Where are the bathrooms?" Me "See those two Ajuma's up there... they just came out of the bathroom." JCrew "Those are NOT Ajuma's. They're just normal ladies!!"

4. Being amazed at all the different body shapes and sizes...

5. Being amazed when people ask me for directions... or the time... or anything at all.

6. Being amazed and grateful to see the lightheartedness of American youth. The people here just seem to have a more visible personality.

7. Not being able to eat dairy.

8. Having to take the car out for a test drive because you haven't driven in a year, but BEING ABLE TO DRIVE WITH NO PROBLEMS OR HEART ATTACKS AND HOGGING THE DRIVERS SEAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!

9. Not being able to stop looking at the sky because it's so blue and beautiful.

10. Shopping like a mad woman because things here fit... and are cute... and they fit... and I like them.... and I need them... and they fit and they're cute. Shopping, shopping, shopping!


*Sigh* I really love this country. It's so great to feel like I actually belong somewhere. It's great to feel like I'm not a freak, like I'm not a giant fatty and like I know what I'm doing here. It's great to belong.

However, I pray (and I ask that you pray with me) that my attitude will improve about Korea and that I'll have a good remaining 6 months in Korea. I want to leave Korea with good memories and good feelings. It has blessed me and grown me in ways that I could never imagine or predict and for that I'm so thankful and grateful. I pray that the country and the experience continues to stretch me and that I'm receptive to it's lessons.

So, for those of you I haven't yet seen... soon... we'll meet soon.

For those of you I have... YAY! I love you!

H

Two Days...

I'm leaving in two days.... I've never looked forward to anything in my life so much as my leaving this country in two days... I'm so excited...

The gummie worms here taste like perfume.

My kids are not motivated to learn English.

I'm not motivated to learn Korean.

Why am I still here???


Two days... twooooooooo daaaaaayysssss....

I do not know how to deal with bleach!

I've trained myself to need to pee when I walk into my parking garage here. I'm like Vygotsky or whoever that dude was that trained the dog to salivate at the sound of a bell.... I've trained myself to need to pee when I walk into my parking garage.

Every time I come home, I take off my bag and set it next to my desk in the same spot every time, I throw my key and phone on my desk, I turn on my computer and then I go pee.

I wish I wasn't so predictable... I want to be sporadic and cute and eccentric... *sigh*


No. I've trained myself to need to pee when I walk into my parking garage. Every time.



So how does one go about bleaching articles of clothing anyways????

I almost passed out about 10 minutes ago because of the fumes. I never knew the powers of bleach. It's mighty!



I'm coming home soon. I can't wait.

White Water Rafting

Yesterday, I went white water rafting with all of the rest of the native English teachers from the Nambu district. It was AMAZING.

Of course, certain parts of the journey were frustrating considering there were about 60 whiny westerners along for the trip and 2 Korean women who just don't quiiiiiite know how to communicate effectively. But, overall, it was a blast. We traveled 3 hours by bus to the East where there were incredible mountains and scenery. I want to live out there, it's amazing.

Then, we ate some lunch, bundled up in life jackets and helmets, piled into some rickety, well used-vans and raced to the river. I must say that the van ride to the river was one very memorable experience. I was certain at many different points along the way that we'd go careening over the mountain side or that the bottom would simply just fall out of the van. That van was build to hold 10 people and there were definitely 15 people in it! 15 people with life jackets and helmets on!

We felt safe!

Then we got to the river. The boat that held me and my 9 team mates was, once again, called team awesome!!

We were the worst rafters in the history of rafting. Unless you consider getting stuck on every possible rock good rafting... cause that's what we did! We rocked.... HAHAHA!!!!!

Our guide, bless his heart, spoke almost no English and unfortunately no one in our raft spoke more Korean than I do. AND, none of us are well versed in rafting terminology!!

Needless to say it was a liiiiiittle confusing at times... but we had a blast. The first thing that happened was that I smashed my paddle into a guys nose.

That was fun for him.

But, then we got going and we really did have a good time. He pulled me in the water to retaliate! Then, everyone got pulled into the water. It was so fun to swim around and just act like a child again. Because we had to wear those helmets and life jackets the whole time, we all looked like children anyways.... might as well act like them.

Jess was especially cute in her little Capri's, life jacket and yellow helmet. Pulling her into the raft one time, I was struck by how much like a little boy she looked! Only rafting can do that!!

Getting back into the raft was a little tricky. Most of the guys had enough upper body strength to be able to pull themselves in, but us women... well, we had a little more trouble. Our guide showed us that if we have our back to the boat, two people can grab onto your life-jacket and pull you into the boat.

Well... this "worked" but it didn't work that well. It only really worked if you were about the size and weight of say.... a Korean.

We westerners are just a little bigger.

We developed a new way of getting in the raft after realizing that the backwards way isn't very effective.... I like to call it... "Slither in like a fish, way." It's much better; you just land on your head when you get in... no big deal!

So, 4 hours after playing and splashing, getting stuck on rocks, swimming, and playing so more, we made our way to the pick up point.

My arms were dead.... still are dead. And, my butt has never felt so..... interesting either.

Sadly, I don't have any pictures. My camera is not waterproof. But, one of the guys in my boat had a waterproof camera and he got some good shots. Hopefully I'll be able to share those pictures with everyone soon!

Until next time!



Hil

Singing for Four Hours Straight has never been so invigorating!

Well, I've had another weekend of absolute fun.


I would like to especially thank Ruda for his invitation to "play." It was timely.


It's funny though, cause I started off my Friday evening just chilling at home for about 3 hours, doing nothing. Watching a movie.

But, then I went to Sinchon to meet up with Ruda and JB and Rachel and then the fun began.

Rachel is incredibly funny... that's all I'm going to say.

So, after a nice chat and a few drinks, we made our way to a Noribang or singing room.


Jess ROCKING it out... Ruda just looking like a goofball.



Now, at this point in the game (I've been here a full 10 months) my friends and I know what songs to sing in a noribang that will just rock out. And, we began the night with those songs... and we rocked out.


But then, an hour and a half later, we just didn't feel finished.... or at least Jess, Ruda and I didn't feel finished.... Rachel had fallen asleep halfway through our tormented and off-key warbles and was DONE for the night. We sent her on her way at around 1:30.


So, we kept going. And then, we discovered the songs that not only rock out, but would feed our lonely hearts and fulfill our need for.... head banging.

Oh yes.

I'm quite sure we became rock stars Friday night.

Thanks to my good buddy Jess, I have become reacquainted with the amazing song "Alone" by Heart. Now, for those of you who do not know this song, you must stop reading this blog, stop doing whatever you may be doing in this exact moment and go listen to it. It is an amazing song. I am not joking; STOP READING!


For those of you who DO know the song, I think you may understand why I was so excited about our time in the noribang.


Jess and I sang it three times.... and by round three... we rocked harder than the Wilson sisters EVER even attempted to ever rock... ever! Ok, this could be a slight exaggeration... but only a slight one.


For those of you who know me well, you may be surprised to hear that I am so willing to prostrate my vocals in such a way. But, with a co-star like Jess, one can hardly go wrong... Jess knows how to rock it out and she has NO inhibitions in the noribang... she is my noribang hero!


Our first round of "Alone" was amazing.... however, there was one slight hiccup with round one. Let me explain:


After the first and second verse and chorus, there is a short bridge and then Ann Wilson belts out a profound and heart-felt singing scream. This is an exiting moment in the song. It's the climax; the pinnacle of emotion and poetry. The rest of song follows that dramatic scream and without it, the song would only be half of the great rock ballad that it is.

As we were coming to this part in our noribang during round one of "Alone" it was understood that Jess would sing this scream by herself. Again, I am no vocalist and seeing as Jess was born to this song and loves this part, it was only right for her to take this singing scream by herself.


This is how the song goes:


"I hear the ticking of the clock, I'm lying here the rooms pitch dark.

I wonder where you are tonight. No answer on the telephone.

And the night goes by so very slow... oh I hope that it won't end, though... alone.

Till now, I always got by on my own. I never really cared till I met you. And now it chills me to the bone.

How do I get you alone?

How do I get you alone?

You don't know how long I have wanted to touch your lips and hold you tight.

You don't know how long I have waited and I was going to tell you tonight.

But the secret is still my own. And my love for you is still unknown. Alone......

AHHH AHHH"


And then there's the chorus again.


As, I said, Jess and I were doing great until we got to the scream. She was just too excited.





Here's my imitation...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHA"

I lost it after that. I could no longer sing because I was laughing too hard.

So yes. A few bumps along the way, but we ended the night with that song and we scored a 100!!!

YESSS!!!

Then we went to a DVD room. I feel asleep but it was still fun.

Then we went for coffee.

I had orange juice, but it was still good.

Then we went home.... at 6 in the morning. So yes, a long but terribly fun night.

And, I slept all day on Saturday. Amazing.

I recommend that you read Jess's version of this evening as well. You should find a post on her blog within a matter of days. http://www.jessinsokorea.blogspot.com/

For now, I'll just leave you with the amazing song itself.


http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=jxfdDrKO8uM

Ramblings and Musings

My body is retarded.



All I wanted to do all day was sleep. I finally get home, lay in bed and do you think I can sleep??

NO!

I hate being so lethargic through out the day that I can't focus on anything significant or meaningful. My only thoughts today where... "When can I go home so I can go to bed?"



And now I can't sleep. *SIGH*


ANYWAYS...



I have a busy few weeks coming up here. I have a few party's to attend. These include a couple of different **COUGH COUGH BIRTHDAY PARTY'S COUGH COUGH** a mud festival, and other assorted gatherings.


I also have to find time to go get a health check up, renew my visa, re-register as an alien (yes, I am an alien) and check out the prospects for getting a... puppy... maybe...



What do you think... good idea? Bad idea???

I WANT A PUPPY!!!



So, I'm gonna be busy. But, that's ok. I like it that way.


In other news, I got my hair cut. Yes, it looks slightly different from normal.... I have significant bangs now and drastic layerage going on... now, of course, my hair is so... silky (I say "silky" with utmost humility and modesty... I'm just being honest here) that you can hardly tell about the layers. But, I notice the difference. Mainly because the darn bangs keep getting in my eyes all the time!



Also, one of my co-teachers, Mikyeong came to Bible study with me last week. She had a fantastic time and wants to continue coming and studying the Bible. She really likes all of my friends (I told her that, yes, they were ok) and I think this whole thing will be really good for her. She told me she's been reading more of the Bible and it's helping her to settle down more and rest better. I'm so excited. I really pray that God moves in her and opens her heart!

You know, I was on a walk yesterday in my "back yard." I was listening to some Shawn McDonald (who is my favorite Christian artist) and his song "Have You Ever" was playing. It's a powerful song and it just struck me how... no matter how unsatisfied we may be with our lives; no matter what we think we want or need; the only thing that's really going to fill us, is Him. I'm sure that's why I think I want a puppy... to fill me up in some way.

I mean... I don't think owning a puppy is a bad thing... really... I'm still going to look into it... but I think the bigger issue for me; the bigger issue for us all, is that we need to be filled by Him. How often do we do that in our lives? How often do we seek Him to fulfill us instead of the world around us? I think about my day today and I can tell you, the only thing I did other than teach was stare at a computer screen or a TV screen. No wonder I'm so restless at night.

I think He's trying to get my attention!



I still want a puppy..


Ok, picture time.


Oh goodness.... this is me and Myeongsook, one of my co-teachers. She wanted my face to be closer to the camera's so that her face wouldn't look so big! Having a "big face" is a really unattractive to many Koreans and lots of people are really aware of their face size. I think Myeongsook is beautiful, but her culture doesn't like some of her attributes. So, this is me, laughing at her self-consciousness... I think I should be self-conscious now! LOOK AT THAT FACE!!!








Ok, this one's a lot better... and you can see the new hair cut too!




Alright. That's all for now. I'll write again when I have something more interesting to say! For now, thanks for listening to a bunch of rambles and musings.

Peace.


Hil

Who knew Simon and Garfunkel were amazing????

I didn't, but I do now.

But anyways!

One of the things that has been most consistent in my life here in Korea has been the inconsistency.

One day it's a good day, the next it's terrible.
One day it's easy, the next day I don't know if I can do it anymore.
One day my students respect me, the next I can't even get them to sit down.
One day everything seems stable and secure, the next there's so much confusion and turmoil I don't even know what to hang onto.

My earthly forms of stability are all in America... sometimes I feel like I'll fly apart if I don't have someone to hang onto. Someone older than me... like a parent.

But, today was a good day. I was able to manage my classes fairly well and I had some nice conversations with my co-workers.

Kyeongmi, the Korean teacher who sits right next to me, was putting lipstick on after lunch. When she does this it cracks me up because she has to use a paint brush to apply it. Apparently one of her daughters got into her makeup bag and smeared the lipstick all over her face leaving just a mangled blob inside the tube. Kyeongmi didn't want to throw it out because that lipstick is expensive, so she uses a little paintbrush to apply it to her lips.

Today, just as she was finishing this after-lunch routine, I leaned over to ask her a question and before I could even get a word out, she grabbed my head and started trying to put that lipstick on me.

UGGHH!!! She's like my SISTER!!! I kept swiveling my head around trying to get away from her, but she was insistent! I felt pretty sure that she was about to sit on me... just like my sister used to do when she thought my face needed an adjustment in some way!

So, I had lipstick on for about a minute today. She was pinning my hands down, but as she was trying to get the music teachers' attention, I managed to wipe it off.

YES! SHE WAS PINNING MY HANDS DOWN!! Holy cow! It's like sitting next to a weird combination of Haley and Mom.... in Korean form!


But, then we were talking some more and she invited me to stay at her place every Friday night next semester.

I think she wants to adopt me.

But, I also thinks there's this weird, unspoken kind of battle going on between her and Mikyeong, my co-teacher who's recovering from cancer.

They battling for me. Like, trying to see who I like the best or who has the biggest claim on me.... I'm not sure how to deal with that one. I like them both. Why can't we all just be friends???


Here is a picture of Kyeongmi, my neighbor.


I called her cute today and she didn't like that. She said that in Korea, you can only be cute if you're young. So, I said she was adorable...which, to me is almost the same thing, if not a word that I would more readily associate with younger people... but she liked that better.

Talk about stability. If I let her, she'll try to be that stability for me.... if I let her.

There's also Mikyeong. She wants to be that too... if I let her.

"So what are you complaining about, Hil?" That's your question, right?

No matter what I do or who I go to here, there will always be inconsistency. I can't avoid it. They can't avoid it either. I love them... really! And, I know they love me too. For crying out loud, Kyeongmi hugged me like 8 times today! WHAT AM I A TEDDY BEAR??

But, maybe my life is supposed to be led alone... for this year. Maybe my life is supposed to be inconsistent.

Or maybe I'll get a puppy.



Peace out, Ya'll!


H

Fuel Prices

I've decided a good alternative form of transportation would be a horse.


I'm not settling for anything else....


A horse...

or a car.

My Weekend.... and Today

I have just had one of the most fantastic weekends I have had for a long time!

Let me share:

Friday, after school (which wasn't really school; most of the students and most of the teachers were away on a field trip for 3 days.... so a couple of other teachers and I just sat around and chat) I went out to lunch with a couple of teachers. We ate galbi, so it was really good!


Then, I went and met with Changok, my favorite co-teacher! I was a complete dork. I don't know why, but I was feeling really fat and awkward around her and so I was a complete nincompoop. But, she was helpful and gracious as usual and talking with her helped me to process a lot of different things. Namely, school. She told me that I shouldn't feel inadequate because of the language barrier, but that the discipline system in the public schools don't support even the Korean teachers.

It was good to talk about how; because we spend half of our time disciplining the students, we quickly run out of creative ways to teach and then, therefore become boring, strict and cranky teachers.

I'd like to think that I still have some spark left. We're singing songs this week... I think that's slightly fun....

Theeeeeeen, I went to see the new Indiana Jones movie with JB (JB is Jessica Becker for those of you who aren't aware of the group nick-names). I wasn't conscious of just how concerned I was that Harrison Ford preserve his dignity and uphold the integrity of the name INDIANA JONES until I saw the opening scene of that movie!

My goodness. For about the first 20 minutes or so, I was almost horrified! But, then after the movie got going a little bit, I forgot about how potentially ridiculous it was that they were making another Indiana Jones while Harrison Ford is an 80 year old man.

Ok, I know he's not that old, but still! I think they did an "ok" job with the movie.... there were a couple of good points in the movie... I guess.

Saturday, I met a couple of my adult students for lunch and a hike. I haven't seen my adult students in a while, so it was really great to see them and... the hike was amazing!


I also learned my colors in Korean! Just so you all know; my favorite color is paran. AND, while I was on the hike, I was wearing a bolgan colored shirt! I'll send a picture along to give you a clue!




This place that we hiked is like the great wall of Korea! Amazing!

After my hike, I went home and took a shower, grabbed my guitar and then went to Trevor and Rachel's. It's always fun to hang out with friends and play my guitar.... and eat... I like to eat.

Then I spent the night there. And, then everyone came back and we all had breakfast. It was glorious. I had bacon. It hurt my stomach but who cares!

THEN; we went to church where Eddy preached. He had a fantastic sermon. He took a spin on the parable of the prodigal son that I've never heard or thought about before. Good stuff.

After church, Ruda helped me change the strings on my guitar. It was pretty sweet, we were all sitting outside on the steps on this beautiful sunny Sunday and nobody seemed to want to leave. It was glorious.... but then.... Ruda and I discovered I only had 5 strings new strings for my guitar!!!!

I was missing my G STRING!!

So we went out to buy me a G string.... Yeah.

My guitar is amazing again! I have blisters on my fingers I've been playing so much!

And that was my weekend! Good, good, good!


ToDAY, Monday, was also a good day.

I wore a skirt to school today... I was ordered to do so by my neighbor at school. I wowed everyone. Apparently I'm a hottie and I match with my skirt better than I match with pants. It's just cause everything I own is brown!

I made my kids sing today. They're really cute. They did awful!

My impression of them:
"If you're happy and you know it clap your hands" (pat, drop paper)
"If you're happy and you know it clap your hands" (smack, slap)
"If you're happy and you know... mumblemumblemumblemumble it, if you're happy and you know it clap you're hands" (drop paper, smack, pick nose)

They're a little rough around the edges, but... whatever.

Yu Mikyeong, my co-teacher who was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, is back. It's SO good to see her and have her back. She looks fantastic for having had cancer and surgery. She said her day was a little rough though... I can't imagine!

Also, I sat and chat with a couple of the women from my row of desks. Kyeongmi, my neighbor, was commenting on my toenails. She said that she would paint my toenails for me. I told her that it was quite alright, I like my toenails just the way they are, thank you! But, she said that it's against proper etiquette to have unpainted toenails. It's against the "decorum" of the day, I guess just like it's against the "decorum" of the day not to wear heels or make up. I told her I didn't care.

More and more lately I've been pulling out the "I'm an American... I don't care what you're culture does! Leave my toenails ALONE!"

I told her that I would run away if she tried to paint my toenails. She said she'd dump the paint on my feet. Oh goodness. I like her so much! They also want to take me on a trip somewhere in Korea. I'm excited!

Then, Mikyeong drove me home. She's such a sweetie. We talked about boobs; it was hilarious!

And now, I'm sitting at home, full of watermelon and tomato's, enjoying my evening. These days, I'm just full... of more than just fruit!

Thank you, God, for filling me.

And, thank you all for listening to me ramble!

Blessings and prayers.

Hil

The Basis of my Decision to Stay in Korea for another 6 months....

In my last blog, the question was posed by an anonymous source: Seeing as how Korea is so rough on you, why are you staying another 6 months....

or something like that.


These are my main reasons:

1. The school season in America starts in August

2. I don't finish my original contract with Seoul Metropolitan Office of Education until Aug. 24th

3. I need time to adjust back to American culture before I jump into another serious job

4. I am very comfortable at my school here in Korea

5. The financial situation for me in Korea is good right now and will only continue to get better

6. I don't want to work at Target

7. I just don't feel done here.... does that make sense?


I will, however, be returning to the U.S. at the end of July to visit until around the end of August. I'm SO excited to be coming home! I can't wait to see my Dad... and, you know the rest of my family.... and my dog!

AND TO EAT BLUEBERRIES!!!! Along with other delicious home-grown delicacies!

I love my home in the summer. Maybe I'll even go on extra long bike rides, scout out ponds and go swimming! I'll resume my illegal, pond jumping hobby.

Anyways, in other news, my school won the second round in the volleyball tournament we're participating in! YAY GASAN!!!!

Korean Lesson #527: Sharing a common language with the people around you is important! However, if this is not possible; day-dreaming is a convenient escape from one's current surroundings!

I've concluded that I live about 80% of my life in my head.

That's why (Korean lesson #590) it's important to think good thoughts!


Love you!

Hil

Brokenness... Bustedness

This is a copy of a chat I just had with one of my good friends. Something about it struck me as rather profound... I think because God was flowing through the conversation. I want to share it with you...

Please excuse it's lengthiness... but I really believe it's worth reading.

Jessica: how are you doing? korea treating you any better?
me: no
Jessica: booooo korea
me: but, i'm trying to look beyond my nose
so, things are better....
Jessica: im so jaded...korea has made me this way!!!!
me: well, living here is not easy
having that knowledge helps
Jessica: yes
its hard to remember that sometimes
that this is, once again, NOT normal
me: exactly
we forget that life... the simple act of living in a surrounding that is familiar and doable to us is...
challenging because of EXTRAORDINARY circumstances
Jessica: i hope home life isnt hard
me: it will be
Jessica: i mean, i know the transition will be
me: in different ways
Jessica: but i hope...i remember a time when my life wasnt this hard...hopefully someday ill be able to revisit that feeling for 5 minutes or so
me: yes, me too.. i had a pretty ok day today, but, at the end of the day, after most teachers had gone home... i went and saw Chang Misook teacher
she's the lady who used ot be in my row of teachers but moved to be the head disciplinarian...
Jessica: mhmm
me: she's probably the nicest lady in the entire effing school and she's the head discipline teacher
and, no matter when i see her, no matter what's going on.... she always has this warm, welcoming tender attitude about her
and, because she likes me so much, she pours this lovely attitude all over me
it's like walking into moms kitchen after she's just baked you cookies
Jessica: awwwwwwwwww
me: and, today, for no particular reason, i went up to where her office is...
Lee Kyeonghee and she were the only teachers there
she doesn't speak the greatest English, but... i don't know... maybe because she's a Korean teacher and I'm an English teacher...
we have this connection... a bond and we can communicate
it's been getting more poignant recently
and today, i just told her, in a really simple way.... that i'm 23 years old... and i'm so young
and it's hard living here without a mom or a dad to help me
and, she asked "What about Changok teacher?"
i said.... yes, for the first semester, Changok was mom
but now, she's not and, i'm ok... really.... but just sometimes it's hard
i have no idea why i felt possessed to tell her this and i felt like an idiot but i was almost crying throughout this whole conversation... barely held the tears back
i think if we could bottle this woman's compassion for other people, we could solve all of the worlds problems...
she gave me an honest to goodness hug
Jessica: awwwwww
its nice you have people to show you that kind of warmth and love
appreciate it!!! i know you do
me: i do, but, it's also one of the reasons i can't go around at my school expecting nothing from some of the people around me...
it's just learning that those certain people... those ones that are manipulative... need to be handled with care
Jessica: mhmm
and you're gonna get blindsided and dropped on your face
thats how God keeps us in check with our reliance on other people
me: but, i also think that He sometimes just blesses us
i am not very attached to this woman... i can't be
our lives are too busy and there's not enough of a common language
Jessica: and so her light breath of love is enough to stand out
me: i really think God led me up those stairs to that office because her love was a good reminder for me of how blessed i am in my current situation
Jessica: definitely
you should read my blog
i talk about that sort of kind of
some small act of love seems to carry the most meaning in the world

10 minute break in chatting while I read Jessica's blog... you should read it too!(www.jessinsokorea.blogspot.com)

me: when your book comes out, can i write a forward in it or something??
you're an amazing writer!
Jessica: sure, the forward is all yours!
haha
me: lol thanks
Jessica: ive been dealing with expectations lately
and still fighting feelings of deserving things and resenting unmet desires
and it seems as though if (i should say when) I give God the chance to make me look like a fool He always takes it...and I'm learning a lot through it
me: amen
i don't think God is looking for an opportunity for us to be foolish
just broken
Jessica: well its like i put myself in a position to fall
me: which, i truly believe is the only time we let Him get through to us
Jessica: and then i do
inevitably
and at the bottom He picks me up and dusts me off and says welcome back
me: brokenness
Jessica: bustedness
me: somehow we all hang onto that stupid pride and arrogance that says..
"Wah! Stand back, God! I've got this one covered!"
Jessica: or like "k God, thanks for the seminar training, let me try this one on my own"
me: and then we walk right into a tree
because that's how competent we are at leading our own lives
and, it's amazing to think that i'm not capable of living my own life successfully
again, arrogance, but still... i wonder how i've managed to live so long
Jessica: haha
me: because i steal my life back from God all the effing time!
Jessica: i mean, we went to college...we live on our own, we have jobs we do well at...we are completely competent
SMACK
me: this is all we talked about last night at bible study
Jessica: for me, Korea has been one big slap in the face
me: really?
because it's made you aware of all of this that much more??
Jessica: oh yeah
and im so glad it has been
i mean...how much have i learned?
how much have i experienced to tell me that the world is not as i thought it was, or even more importantly, that i am not who i thought i was!
how much has God shown me about my true self, about my war with depravity
about His faithfulness, His presence
i could go on and on ...i could write a book!
korea hit me hard, and it was just what i needed
my life will never be the same...i will never bee the same
and how fortunate to have experienced this at 22???
most people never have this opportunity to get down and dirty with their barest self
to strip away everything and to live by God's grace?
FULLY by God's grace
when i think about my time here I cant help but tear up
because i know how much God is with me now
and through His discipline I feel His love a hundredfold
I feel like a baby who is learning to walk, i feel every lesson and instruction profoundly as though i was being hit over the head
me: that' a great place to be
Jessica: and to lay prostrate on the foundation of CHrist that I always knew in my head was there but never was in full contact with is something i cant forget
though i wish for an easy life...i dont want to give this brokenness up
me: yeah
it's a rough road getting there isn't it?
Jessica: so rough
me: it's like sand paper on the skin
Jessica: i felt every layer ripping away
me: lol
i think it's so weird how we're going through almost the same thing at the same time
but with different surroundings and circumstances
God is so weird... but awesome i mean hearing this from you means so much more to me because i'm going through it too
Jessica: by different roads we have come to the same place
me: yeah
i think God wants us all to come there
again and again... this is not my first trip and not my hardest either... but, i think i'm going to be learning this lesson in different ways all throughout my life because i am so human and insist on taking my life back
but, i think that's why this second time around for me... wasn't as hard as the first
and why this first time around for you.... is so hard!
Jessica: today Yusun told me that she's scared for me to leave
and i said i was scared to leave too
and then she said, its okay, thats not today's problem
but she wants to be an English teacher now...she said she'll do it again next year if she can
me: look what you've already done
the mark you've left
there is fruit
Jessica: God is good, there is no argument about that
im happy we can go through this together :)
me: me too
hey, i want to tell you something going back a little bit
just a stupid analogy, but i'm proud of it
when i was in 6th grade, all of the 6th graders in the building (except for the really bad ones) got to go on this field trip with the 6th grade teachers for like... 2 nights and 3 days
we went to this little camp that did a bunch of dumb things with us like tell ghost stories....
well, one thing they did have us do was this little exercise about how it would be to live blind....
they blindfolded us and had us walk in this single file line around this little maze thing holding onto this rope
well, most people in my class (i remember notably Michael Hess because he was right in front of me) cheated and peeked
but i didn't
and at first as i was walking around hanging onto this dumb rope, i was pretty scared
i was afraid of falling and i was completely disoriented
but then, after a while... i was doing ok
and i became more acclimated to my surroundings and i gained more confidence
and then i ran right into a tree
like... full on
smacked my face and everything
it really hurt!
i think i had a headache for the rest of the day
Jessica: BWAAAAHAHAHA
me: yes
Jessica: oh snap
me: i'm sure if you had been looking on it would have been one of the most hilarious things you've ever seen
i don't know why i remember this so vividly, but i think i can find a parallel in my life here
i had been blind for 5 minutes and i was SURE! i had this "blindness" thing down
i think God looks at us and says....
maybe first of all BWAAAHHAHAAHAHAHA
Jessica: hahaha
me: and then... "You've been human for about 5 minutes and you think you've got this thing down????"
"HA!!"
and then HE has us walk into a tree
or you know... THE tree
Jessica: its funny because as humans we will always want to be better, be good at life, be more prepared, be proficient
its the opposite of humility and brokenness
me: yeah
it sure is

Mom and Haley Part II

Ok, here's the picture post for part II of Mom and Haley's stay here in Korea...

Day 4... Monday

Taking a brief rest before our long trek up Namsan tower... Mom actually wanted to stay and count Trev and Rachel's change.... I have no idea why this was so appealing to her... but whatever!

Haley and I pausing to take a rest on our way up to Namsan tower! It was a beautiful day for a hike!

Mom and Hales in front of the tower... I couldn't get the whole thing in there.

Haley found the only spot that didn't have tons of people crawling all over it and was bright and full of colorful trees... I think it's a pretty cool shot... you can see the tower in the back ground too!

Day 5

Sadly, I don't have any pictures of Namdaemoon, the market where Mom and Haley found so many neat things.


We're ate street food on Tuesday. Everyone thought it was delicious!

A great picture of some of the various street food available. The big red round things are called Kimchi pajong.... it's a kind of kimchi pancake/pizza type thing. SOOO good!

Now we're having dessert. They have these waffles that they fill with syrup and icing. They like the Korean version of an elephant ear... but more substantial.

Then, we went to this show called Jump. It's a Martial Arts Theater and it is AMAZING! Haley even got to be a part of the act a little bit! This old man made her help him up the stage... he wanted her to give him a boost by shoving him on the butt up the stage... she helped him with his feet! Then the cutest Korean man I've ever seen grabbed her hand and tried to flirt with her until his girl friend came and pulled him away! It was hilarious!

Day 6 was spent at my school and at Bible study and there are no pictures to show for it!

I'll finish this series off with a part III....

Until next time,

Hil

Mom and Haley

Mom and Haley came to Korea... what a trip! Literally! I realized so many things about myself and about how Korea has changed me since I've been here. Some of these things have been good, some have been bad!

On the whole, I think everyone had a great time! We did SO many things, but I'll give you the condensed version with pictures!!!

Day 1

Haley, Mom and I at Chongaechong stream. It was a beautiful day!

Hales and I violating probably every Korean tradition and propriety law by sitting in this little monument or piece of art.... but whatever!

Day 2

Haley thought it kind of stunk in Korea..... I.... don't know what I'm doing...

The 3 of us in Insadong.... we're pretty cute!

Haley liked Insadong... so did Mom... you can see her checking out more stuff in the left corner of the picture.

Day 3

Myeong-dong and the side dish place!

The side dishes.

Myeong-dong at night.

Day 3 continued...

Haley, Me, Myeongsook (my co-teacher) and Mom eating Dokgalbi. I like our bibs!

Wow.. ok, there are so many more pictures for each day! I think I'm going to have to make this a 2 parter!

For now, enjoy!

Hil